The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes
by EuphoricEpiphany
Summary: Jane has written an autobiography. Who knew her life was so horror filled? Jane grew up in the Salem witch trails, something she never has told anyone. She usually just makes up stories about her death. What is really behind Janes eyes?
1. The Beginning of the End

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_My name is Jane Volturi, but it hasn't always been. Born in the town of Salem, Massachusetts to George and Susannah Martin. My father was a blacksmith, my mother a witch. At least, she was judged as such. The cruel man that sealed both my mothers and my own fate was William Sargent Junior. I will never forget that name. Every time I think of that man I shudder. Not that I am scared, but because I am angry. I am bitter, and I miss my beloved mother. Hating her death, and mine, because of that man. I can not entirely blame it on him, though. It was all started by my two best friends. The year was 1692, Betty Parris and Abigail Williams decided to play a trick. Betty, Abby, and I had always been best friends. We told each other everything. Betty was the Reverend Samuels daughter and Abby was her cousin. I was merely a friend. We all called each other sisters, though. Everytime I think on them I wish I could cry. Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend? I was betrayed by two. That pain might possibly be worse than anything William Sargent Jr. could ever do, could have ever done, to me. Betty and Abby started my death. My family's death; and the death of most of the other towns people. Its sad really, little girls; only 9 an d11, murderers. I still don't believe they meant it really, but rather found themselves in a trap they simply could not get out of. You see it all started with a trick, a prank if you will. Betty and Abby got a new nanny, Tituba. She was from a different country that slips my mind now, but I still remember her. Clear as glass are her deep brown eyes, her almost hysterical laugh, and her long scrawny figure. Oh! The stories she told us! About magic and love and witchcraft. Never anything serious about the last of course. She wasn't really a witch. She merely told fairy tales about them. But Abby and Betty became more and more intrigued by them. They talked of magic all the time, in the secret pretending to be witches. I always thought it silly and tried to talk them out of it. It was not a good idea for Puritans like us, "Especially the Reverends relations!" I scolded them, to even pretend to be involved in witchery. They stopped for a while. Until one day Tituba told us a new story. A story of how witches took over people bodies and made them insane! It was so vibrant so real seeming. Betty and Abby talked about it later on. I was there, oh the day my fate was sealed! They wanted to play a trick; what would happen if they went insane? What would the people do? What if they accused someone, would anyone believe them? It was so very silly; but the more and more they talked about being possessed the more they convinced themselves that they were! They would come to each other and talk of how they weren't feeling well, how they felt like screaming. Tituba they blamed. But they would never actually tell, never actually play the trick. Until it became more than a trick. Until they were absolutely convinced that Tituba was a witch! In church of all places. I often wonder now if it had been at home; would it have been different? I don't ponder that question much though because I can't go back. I cannot change anything so I might as well not tempt myself with thoughts now. Almost a thousand years later! It's silly of me really to still be so hurt. But things stick to you. Good experiences, bad experiences; until you let them go they will haunt you. In writing this I am letting go. This is my way. An autobiography, if you will. Though it's a rather ridiculous concept since my life will most likely never end! It's my way of, not just numbing the pain, but getting rid of it. A thousand years is long enough to suffer. In church they fell to the floor. In the house of God they screamed, "Lord! It hurts! It hurts so much! Pins and needles! Jabbing my sides! Help! Please, help us, do help us!" It was a horrible site, my two best friends lying on the floor twitching, shaking, crying, and laughing hysterically. I began to cry, I remember. My mother quickly hushed me up; girls age 13 do not cry, it is improper. None the less I new the look on mummy's face. She was scared too, worried. What would become of us now? Witches had infiltrated our town! "Tituba!" Abby and Betty's screeches sounded in the hollow wooden room. That was the beginning. The beginning of our end. More later, Alec is calling._

**A/N: a cool fact: every charecter mentioned here is acctualy from the salem witch trails; which really did happen it 1692. The events a roughly real of course i dont know what Abby and Betty talked about or if they even had a friend but they did start the whole thing by doing that in church blaming Tituba and her stories. George and Susannah really did have a daughter named Jane though i dont know what her age would have been in 1692. and William really was the accuser of Susannah. **

REVIEW AWAY!

_disclaimer: i do not own anybody in the twilight books. I also do not own Susannah, George, Abby, Betty, Tituba, the Reverend, or William. they are all historical figues from the time of the salem witch trials._


	2. Death is History

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_Witches. I think I should explain a little bit about the Puritan faith. They believe that when people are born they are either evil or good. That they either go to heaven of hell and that is decided before you even breathe your first breath. Puritans like the people in my town were always looking for signs of which place others were going too. They occupied themselves with it. Anyone considered evil, was a witch; and witches were killed. Not many people were accused at first. There was no real reason for it. _

_Then came Betty and Abby's fit. At first, it seemed that it might die down. Then Ann Putnam Jr. and Elizabeth Hubbard's fit a few days later. They joined with Abby and Betty; many people started to get scared. I can't say I wasn't one of them. It was a horrible site; Abby would run around the room under cahirs, throwing things. She even tried to climb up the chimney! They started talking to me less and less. The more I think about it the more I think that the devil actually took them for his own. It might just be my former Puritan beliefs coming back to me; but maybe they sold their souls to the devil. Betty and Abby always had wanted attention. I remember a few days before their fit they had gone into the woods and missed dinner. They wouldn't let me come. "You simply would not understand Jane-y dearest." They said sadly. That was the last time I hugged them.__ Of course Elizabeth and Ann went with them. They did everything Abby and Betty did. Anything to impress the Reverend! Poor souls; all for of them! Oh! How I miss my Betty Lou. My Abby-kins. _

_A__lec calls it silly every time I talk about it. "A thousand years, Jane. We all know Betty and Abby have died. Everyone who they killed would have died by now anyway. Now stop being so childish or I will tell Aero to talk to you about it!" The last time they ever seemed normal. If I had just not let them go! If I had only told the Reverend; even my own mother! Maybe they would have stayed normal. Maybe all those people could have been saved. Maybe, just maybe, I never would have been turned into a vampire. It's silly to think about. A rose is a rose is a rose. History is history is history. I cannot change what happened, no matter how much it haunts me. I must let go and admit it was not my fault. _

_They blamed Tituba first. It was only logical; she was the one that put the ideas in their heads. But they didn't stop there. They next blamed Sarah Good and Sarah Osburne. _Tituba, _as a slave of a different ethnicity than the us Puritans, was an obvious target for accusations. Sarah Good was poor and known to beg for food or shelter from neighbors. Sarah Osburne had married an indentured servant and rarely attended church meetings. All of these women fit the description of the "usual suspects" for witchcraft accusations, and no one stood up for them. I remember then clearly…Good always came to our house. My mother would give her some food. She was a poor soul really. Her state wasn't her fault. Her father committed suicide when she was around 20. Her first husband died leaving behind a huge amount of debt. Her second husband William Good, had to sell all their land just to pay back a fraction of the debt. She was filthy, bad-tempered, and detached from everyone. She had always had a soft spot for my mother though. Osburne had not attended church in three years due to illness. Abby and Betty had always disliked her. They talked about how she was stingy and proud. Of course they blamed her first. _

_If they had only known what would happen; they would not have done it I'm sure! Oh! Abby, Betty! How could you do that! Silly girls! I have to stop writing now. If I try not to cry any longer I might hurt someone. More later._

**A/N: Betty and Abby really did accuse Good Osburne and Tituba. Good and Osburne were really described that was by the people of Salem. And there are rumors that the night before their tantrum in church Betty Abby Elizabeth and Ann were found in the woods alone.**

disclaimer: I do not own any characters here. Jane is owned my Stephanie Meyer and the rest are historical figures


	3. The Evil One

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_I am going to skip ahead now. To the time where the deaths really started to get to me. I was very depressed, unbelievably sad. Can you possibly imagine the pain? Half of the town; everyone I knew, was either dead or in prison; many died in prison. All I had left was my mother Susannah, (my father had died the year prior), and my siblings. This included my twin brother, Alec. I seem to have forgotten to mention one very important detail. My mother had red hair. Long, beautiful, curly red hair! It was the death of us all. In the 1600s anyone with red hair was automatically suspected of witchcraft. What made us even more of a target was me and Alec. Twins. Its amazing how such simple genetic marks can scare you. _

_I remember the first time The Evil One (the name my siblings and I called William Sargent Jr.) came to our home. "Susannah Martin!" he knocked at the door. I was unlucky enough to open it. "Good evening Mr. Sargent." I said meekly. He was a rather cold man, The Evil One. Around six foot three inches, he had dark brown hair and a stare that if looks could kill, surely would kill you. "Out of my way, double, where is your mother?" I was astounded. Double? Yes, I was a twin; but why is that of significance. He knew my name. "Mr. Sargent, mother is down at the well. Do sit down; do you want me to make you some tea, sir?" I tried smiling at him but in return got a start cold as ice. _

_"Listen here, double. Your 'mummy' is a witch; and if I have it right so are you! I am not a stupid man, double. I will never sit in the presence of a witch and will most certainly not drink her tea!" I almost cried again. "No! No! I am not a witch! Neither is mummy! Please Sir, please! Don't do this to us!" I was begging. I had already lost my father and the thought of losing everyone else was horrible. The thought of dying, was unimaginable. If only I had known the alternative then. It might not have seemed so bad. "Oh! Shut up child-witch! You're a twin, your mothers a red head. Your witches, naturally. _

_My daughter said the other day in school you were staring at her. Then later on in the day she tripped and cut her hand on a wire. Now I don't think that is a coincidence, spawn of Satan!" he had moved to stand over me, raised his hand as if to slap me. I was crying now; terribly ashamed of every tear that stung my face. _

_My mother came in. "Don't you dare strike my Jane!" she screamed at him. "Or else!" It was a terribly foolish thing for her to say. If she hadn't said it, maybe we would have been spared. But The Evil One was looking for any reason to accuse us. He found his reason. "Proof!" he screeched happily, "Witches! The whole family! I will see you in court very soon, Susannah Martin. And I expect those little double demons to burn right by you on the stake!" _

_As he stomped out and closed the door my siblings (whom had been waiting in the other room), my mother, and I began to cry. All of us. We all knew what would happen now; and it wouldn't be good. That was the first time I saw my mother cry; not even when papa had died had she cried. But now she sobbed. As I look back on it I would weep if I could. The pain of losing all her children finally got to her. I must go now; Aero says its time to eat. More later._

**disclaimer:**_ I do not own anybody in the twilight books. I also do not own Susannah, George, Abby, Betty, Tituba, the Reverend, or William. They are all historical figures from the time of the Salem witch trials._


	4. INTERMISSION

INTERMISSION:

I have come to realize that many people have questions and concerns about my story. Here I'm going to put questions that people have asked and concerns and give my best answers for both. So here we go…

**1.**The Witch Trails started in England: yes the witch trails started in England. The Salem Witch Trails started in Salem, Massachusetts; which is the place I'm talking about.

**2.**Tituba's name was Tichiba: history has made a lot of mistakes. Since Tituba was just a servant (and an accused witch too!) she was looked down on very much. So her name wasn't recorded very accurately. I have always learned Tituba so that is the name I use.

**3.**The Crying thing, sometimes she says she try's hard not to cry and other times she says she can't cry: I probably worded this wrong. She can't cry because vampires lose bodily fluids. What I meant was 'if I try to cry any longer I might hurt someone' sorry for that.

**4.**Jane and Alec were found in England: who's to say they won't end up in England, hm?

**5.**I've never heard that those girls were I the woods!: it's a rumor from the Salem Witch Trails; it might or might not be true. For the sake of the story I'm saying it happened.

**6.**Why did you say that Jane had to eat; vampires can't eat!: when I said that it was loaded with sarcasm. 'Eat' meaning 'feed.'

**:::NEW NEWS:::**

**Some people have asked me if i'm going to write a sequal after this, and the answer is yes. It probably going to be called The Truth About Jane: Of love and lies.  It will be a story about Jane in the present. She will find a love, someone she used to know. She promised herself after writing her memoirs to never think about what had happened again, at least not to let in emotionally scare her so. Shes said again and again after all "i'm letting go" Well will she choose to love someone whose very presance reminds her of all the horrors of her past? of go back to being bitter and cold, and loveless? I guess we'll see.**

****

Thanks for reading everyone! Especially those who reviewed, put me on alert, or favorited me or my story!

Love,

Anna


	5. A Thousand Years

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_Have you ever lost the world? Have you ever been in the position where everything you know is twisted into a cruel complexity? I'm sure most of you have at least lost someone close to you; haven't you? I want you to remember that time or that person. I want you to feel that pain again. Imagine the most important person in your life. Is it your parent, sibling, friend? Imagine losing all of those. Imagine the pain. That was my life; it's haunted me for a thousand years. Ironic isn't it? My life should have ended at fourteen years, and I've lived for a thousand. _

_It's hard for me to write this. Every time any vampire ever thinks about Jane Volturi fear hits them. The sound of my name makes vampires tremble in fear; my painful stare is avoided by all. Would anyone ever expect this? How utterly vulnerable I am. I suppose for mortals, it would be like fining out Hitler, of the human World War 2, had a passion for teddy bears. Would anyone ever guess, besides Alec, my pain? How easily they could break me just by saying the name Betty? Abby? Susannah or George! It's incredible, me as a vampire; stronger than any human. Me as a Volturi; stronger than almost any vampire-and could be broken by one word._

_After the run-in with The Evil One thing completely changed. We were almost never out of mother's site, and she was never out of mine. I've never really explained the bond between me and my mother. She was my best friend. I could talk to mummy about anything and anyone. I could tell her exactly how I felt and she would always have the best advice! I was closer to her than I was to Alec._

_It's hard to imagine how fragile I was back then. A scrap on my arm was the worst pain imaginable! After a thousand years of being a stone hard monster, it's hard to even imagine a paper cut! The thought makes me almost laugh. Back then…when my world was good. Well, for the first thirteen years. Are all vampires this touchy about their past? I feel abnormal. How could I have so much heartache when I don't even have a heart? _

_Alec doesn't mind this much. He says the past is the past and we might as well live for the day! He was always the smarter twin, and so passive about everything! I must have ended up with all the opposites. Where he is smart I am foolish, where he is passive I hold grudges for a thousand years! _

_A song from a mortal band has some lyrics that explain a little bit how I feel:_

"_Forgive sounds good._

_Forget, I'm not sure I could._

_They say, time heals everything._

_But I'm still waiting."_

_It fits doesn't it? I can probably forgive The Evil One and Betty and Abby. I don't think I can forget what they did though. They say time heals everything; but after a thousand years-I've figured out that you can't wait around for time to change you, you have to change yourself. It's so hard! Why must the good die young and the evil prosper?_

_I have a dirty little secret to tell you. I killed The Evil One. After my… transformation, I hunted him down. I murdered him on his way back from the outhouse. It was a rather hilarious site really. I remember what I told him," hark! Mr. Murderer! Do you remember me?" "J-j-Jane?" he stuttered. I imagine my paper-white skin, my bright red eyes, and my perfect beauty astounded him. Such a silly man; to think, honestly, that I would not have my revenge? "Karma is a powerful thing, Mr. Murderer." I told him cruelly smiling. That was when I discovered my power. Staring at him he began to shake and scream. His wife and children came outside and screamed with terror! It was a wonderful thing! I looked at them and met their eyes- the terror they felt right then was almost enough to satisfy! When I turned my attention back to The Evil One I was practically hysterical with happiness. I slashed him in two pieces easily. Oh! How the wife screamed! I left them then, unable to control my laughter._

_I imagine it was the most horrible thing in the world for that family? Is it wrong not to care? I must go now, I have things do. More later._

**Disclaimer: I do not own anybody in the twilight books. I also do not own Susannah, George, Abby, Betty, Tituba, the Reverend, or William. They are all historical figures from the time of the Salem witch trials.**

**Review!**


	6. Death Befallen

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_It seems I got a little bit ahead of myself. I forgot to mention the real pain. Silly me, leaving the worst part out. Jane Martin becomes Jane Volturi. Isn't it incredible? I puny little girl becoming one of the most feared vampires in the world? I can't believe I left out how…_

_It was dark for six o'clock. Clouds had rolled in from beyond and the world was shaking with fear and depression. At least, my world was. This was it; mama, Alec, all my other sibling…we were going to die tonight. I didn't tell you about all the trials because I am afraid they would bore you. Basically it went like this._

"_Susannah Martin, are you a witch?" _

"_No, I am not a witch."_

"_Did you threaten Mr. Sargent?"_

"_Only because he was about to strike my daughter, Jane."_

"_So you admit it!"_

"_I admit threatening him."_

"_Then you are a witch! No more speaking I sentence you to hanging with your children by your side!"_

_I never really explained about twins. Like red hair, we were seen as an evil thing. For our hearts had split apart in the womb, one took evil the other light. You can't be sure which one is the witch, so you must kill them both! That makes a lot of sense doesn't it? I've thought about it again and again, and I still can't understand it._

_Horror, terror, fear, and fright! All were emotions running through my head as our family was lead up to the nooses. It was a horrible thing, and it is just as horrible to relive it. Those ropes, people cheering and jeering, the weeping of my siblings and my mother as the ropes were placed around their heads one by one. Alec and I were the last to go. It was pure terror to watch them place the noose around his head. I screamed, oh how I screamed. Pure terror and agony! Oh! What fate had befallen upon us! God, what have we done to deserve this! "Bloody murderers! I hate you all! I __**hate you all!**__" hysterically I screamed. The thought of it. Nothing but agony flooded through me in those seconds in which the last of my siblings had nooses around their necks. Then they came to me, the placed the noose around my neck. Right before they raised the rope I screamed hysterically, "GO HOME NOW OR MY BLOOD WILL CURSE YOU ALL!" Of course I knew it wouldn't, but it got everyone to leave after they had raised me. The curse of a witch was a fierce thing. None wanted it, everyone feared it. The last person I saw was Betty, I looked her straight in the eye and I do believe I saw a glimpse of sadness. Then it was gone…nothing but a memory, and I was dead._

_please review!_

_i own none of the charecters and/or historical figures in this story _


	7. The Face of God

**I would like to thank; **_**wingedspirit, saveaheffalump, VampireGodess12Xx, **_

_**Bambina.-'londs'-., IzzyFizzy21, lutefa, LaTuaCantanteGirl, pixiefun01, speaker-for-the-undead, and Fury's Girl **_**For sticking with me!**

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_Death is odd, isn't it? I believe it is different for everyone. Some welcome it; some avoid it; for some it is a refuge, for some it is a prison. For me it was a fire. Hot, burning, my bare soul set aflame by the accusations and false remarks made upon me and my family. It was ironic, really, how my death lead to longer life. _

_His eyes were the shade of red only blood has. He was walking down our line of victims, searching for life among the death. He was gorgeous, with skin paler than a sheet of parchment and hair the color of the night sky. He was tall and muscular and…inhuman. It was so strange, with the last breath I had I grunted at him. 'Come save me' I thought, for little did I know that his saving would be disastrous. _

_He came to Alec, whom I was sure was dead, and smelled him. With a smirk of realization on his face he bit him on the chest. 'No!' I thought to myself, inwardly screaming, he is already dead! Must you keep torturing him? He has already suffered enough! He moved on to me, a strange site as I met him at eye level. The same smirk…he bit me in the chest. Right on my heart. At first I tried to scream, then, remembering that I had no more air I blacked out. _

_When I awoke Alec was there. Lying down shaking, crying? But why? Then I felt it, the searing pain crawling down every bloodstream I had. Ripping apart my very soul, catching it on fire. "Hell!" I cried, for that surly is where we must be. I had an awkward realization; we were no longer hanging…but where were we? I had breath, but the pain…I for one was completely confused. Everyone else dies in peace! Why must I be the only one to suffer beyond death! And poor Alec, always my protector, forever my savior; withering on the floor of what I realized was a train with…a gag in his mouth? As I thought about that, between spasms of pain, a gag was placed in my mouth too. As I shook and twitched and watched my brother do the same I couldn't help but be reminded of Abby and Betty that day in church._

_I was on a train, but I was not a passenger. For it seems that our captor, our destroyer, had snuck on to one of the holding units. Stowaway and murderer in the worst possible way! This explained that gags. Even with the wind whipping by us at such high speeds that sounds cannot be heard, why take risks? I looked around inside my bubble of pain and saw the…man? He was sitting down looking at us with a quaint realization that the pain was fading. He came up next to me and whispered directly in my ear, "You are the prettiest thirteen year old I have ever seen." Emotions such as, confusion, flattery, hate, sadness, and relief washed over me. The pain had started to subside. It had been at least twenty-four hours of it…and I was slowly turning back to normal. Wasn't I?_

_After me and Alec had stopped twitching he grabbed us, his hands were cold on my skin. My skin…but my skin was cold do. As I glanced at my arm I saw my skin was sheet white. To match my murderer, but before I could think I was flying. The lunatic had jumped out of the moving train with me and Alec! As we hit the ground hard I realized that is hadn't hurt at all. What was happening to me? I looked at Alec and our eyes met. I gasped, he wasn't Alec at all…he was a God. _

**before you review please keep in mind that in the summary of this story i said that Jane made up alot about her past, and told others (such as Aro) to lie to. So Jane was not burned at the stake, or changed by Aro or whatever she said, k? Just making sure you know. :D now, please review!**

_-disclaimer the same as in all previous chapters-_


	8. Feel the Burn Embrace the Pain

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_"Alec!" I cried out to my brother, simultaneously he looked up and met my eyes. "Jane!" he wept. The red in his eyes, the red that I also expected my eyes now held, was venomous. A strange new feeling came over me, one of thirst; a thirst I had never had before. "Who are you!" I screamed at the stranger, who had managed to land on his feet miraculously. "What have you done to us! We deserve none of this! I AM NOT A WITCH!" I yelled hysterically. I wasn't fair; death was at least in some way an escape. To be cheated out of Heaven was too much for me to take, I didn't deserve this! Call me bitter, call me whatever you like, but I was angry. Hell, I'm still angry; this is what I have to let go. Let go, Jane, let go…_

_"Tell me…" I whispered, finally completely broken. Alec scrambled over to me and placed an arm around my side. Helping me into a sitting position he held me as I wept. Fear, sorrow, confusion, horror, anger; emotions flooded through me in a wave of pain, I sobbed hysterically. The stranger was good enough to let me drown in my sorrow and denial for a while. My own personal Grim Reaper he was, the more I looked at him. Then suddenly my tears stopped; strangely not because I had let them, or wanted them too. I had run out of tears…I suppose the saying is true: it can always get worse._

_"Tell me." I said calming down, at least my voice. I wanted answers, what was my life to be now?" "Come, sit by me. I will answer all your questions." Was all he said in a surprisingly soothing voice. I looked at Alec and he nodded; we made our way towards the stranger in silence. "Now then," he started, "Fire away!" _

"_Who are you…and, what are you?" I choked out, afraid of his answer._

"_I am Leon Artruse, vampire." He said bluntly, as if it were obvious. How could he say it so calmly? "We…we are vampires now too? You changed us!" Alec said getting surer of himself as he went along. Leon nodded, "Yes, you are vampires. I changed you…and in a surprisingly short time!" he seemed pleased with himself. "Tell us…tell us everything about who...what we are now." Alec demanded. I was still getting over the shook. I was just a little girl! No, not anymore, I was a little vampire. Leon proceeded to tell us everything about our fates. How we feed, what we would be experiencing. As crazy as his accusations seemed, I felt the reality of them. How I didn't need sleep after twenty-four hours without, my running out of tears, the strange new thirst. It all made sense. Horrifyingly, terribly, accurate sense. _

_After his 'speech' he gave us time to let it sink in before we asked more questions. I fumed silently: that was the moment the wound was sealed in my heart. Every false accusation I had ever been given, every death I had to witness, every mean look I had to face. My best friend's betrayal, The Evil One; everything that had angered me, hurt me, was confirmed by this new news. Being accused as being a witch was one thing; they could take away my life. I had heaven to go to; I would meet my family there. But no! They couldn't even give me death; they took that away too. What was my existence now? Simply that, and existence. My soul burned away and my heart became still, literally. I was angry; and I was going to get revenge._


	9. Change of Heart

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_Before I could do anything I needed to know more. Everything I had ever had had been stripped away from me. In my anger and woe I discovered that I was no longer a child. I believe that to be the moment my heart turned cold. I mean, in a literal sense that had happened hours before: but I felt it now emotionally. Everyone pushed me around because I was vulnerable, weak. But I wasn't weak anymore, and I was going to prove that to the world. There I vowed to have my revenge of humanity; I would become all powerful. More powerful than any human, and any vampire too. _

_I immediately felt a numbness seep through my veins. I wasn't going to let anyone push me around anymore, and if anyone called me a child they would feel my wrath. From that moment of all I wanted was revenge. That was the moment I became a new and bitter, I would return to humanity the same thing it had given me. Jane Martin was no longer a pushover. I could no longer cry, and I wasn't about to waste my time trying. _

_I looked up at Leon and wanted him to feel my pain; and he did. It was shocking at first; the second I wished it I could tell he felt it. He doubled over and fell from the rock he had been sitting on. He cringed and clutched his head in his hands. He had told me that vampires often carry some trait, usually unusual, from there human life. One vampire from a group called "Cullen" could read minds. I smiled as I realized my power; to make people feel emotional pain so strongly that it seemed physical. I stopped torturing Leon and laughed. Alec looked at me shocked and repulsed, seeing that I had changed. I was no longer his 'sissy', I was no longer Abby and Betty's 'Jane-y dearest': for now I was just Jane; and I was determined to associate that name with fear. _

_Power: that word had never seemed so appealing. A plan was forming in my mind. Twisting around in cruel shapes dancing around in my eyes, and I knew. I had a plan to get my revenge of humanity; and I already had everything I needed. A way to get anything from anyone, the power to kill without having to lug around a weapon, and the motivation. I looked at Alec and smiled. I was going to avenge my mother's death; the whole world would pay for what it did to me. _

_I don't own anyone except Leon. And that's not so great. lol_

_Please please please review!_


	10. Fire and Ice

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_My life was pretense; I was walking in a dream of fire and ice. That might puzzle you; for how can fire and ice combine? They cancel each other out do they not? Fire melts ice, ice puts out flame. To explain my mind-set at the moment, I can only refer to a mortal poem by a man called Robert Frost._

"_**Some say the world will end in fire**_

_**Some say in ice,**_

_**Form what I've tasted of desire,**_

_**I hold with those who favor fire.**_

_**But if I had to perish twice,**_

_**I think I know enough of hate**_

_**To say that for destruction ice**_

_**Is also great**_

_**And would suffice**__."_

_You see the connection? I've tasted the desire of the living; my want for my family and friends. I died when they were gone and it felt like I had been set on fire. I also had to perish twice. Emotionally I died and it felt as if my heart had been covered in ice. I had felt hate and destruction; and thus my world was fire and ice. A confusing complexity and a disastrous though. Hell and yet, I was alive. _

_I laughed hysterically for a long long time. Alec looked at me with confusion in his eyes. I knew how he looked at things. What he would say to me later, "Oh, Jane. You always were such a drama queen. Look, were immortal! It's a gift from God, Jane!" then he would break down too. Dry crying in my arms, I would tell him my plan. For the first time in his life her was as impractical as I. We were in this together, I would never be separated from my dear brother; that was the promise I made myself then. And I kept me, you know; to this day I have. _

_When Alec was done with his fit and I saw clearly the ice film cover his heart; I was ready. Eager, even, to start this plan: but first, Leon. I needed some more answers. He had mentioned in his long speech, a certain clan. The Volturi: the royal family over all vampires. Feared by all, they got whatever they wanted. I would become a Volturi. I had the power, didn't I? They wouldn't dream of denying me. _

_Poor Leon, he had really wanted us. You see the reason he changed us was because he wanted to start his own 'family'. Too bad, I couldn't possibly ever be part of his weak clan. He repulsed me, my second murderer, and so weak. His only power was location. Able to pin-point anybody he wished. He knew exactly where they would be. It was all so convenient really, so convenient._

_I asked him to revile to me the location of the Volturi. Jane Louisa Martin Volturi: has a nice ring to it, don't you think? He told me I would find them in England. This slightly confused me since they resided in Italy, but I'd take what I could get. The plan formulated in my mind again. In three weeks he said, they would be at Big Ben. Staying hidden beneath its shadows, a vacation? He hardly knew why, but he didn't need to know. The important part was that they were there. Leon was only a pawn in my plan. _

_My own change surprises me. I was just a little average weak girl. I had fallen in the hands of the fates and risen again with a new way of thinking. I was hurt, I am hurt; but instead of feeling that pain like in should of I iced over my heart. I'm working now to melt that ice, but I doubt that I will ever be the same girl. For is anyone the same after something like that? Could anybody possibly gain there innocence back after it being corrupted so badly? _

_My plan would begin shortly. But first, I would go back to Salem. I would say my goodbyes, and…cut a few ties. More later._

**Please review! And thanks so much to everyone that has!**


	11. its 10 percent luck, 20 percent skill

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_The excitement was exhilarating. I had never run this fast before. It felt surprisingly good; I wasn't even out of breath. I had acquired a new grace, no matter how rough the terrain I did not trip. The adrenaline almost blocked out the pain; but sadly, nothing is that powerful. _

_If anything, the run just made it worse. It was just time to think it over, every wound that had cut into me. The fire and ice searing and stabbing its way deep into my heart and mind; deeper than I would have ever thought possible. All I could think of was the first goal. You see, I had developed a trio of goals: 1. kill the Evil One, 2. find the Volturi, and 3. become one of the most feared vampires in the world. _

_Accomplishing the first goal was only a days run away, as estimation. I think back on that first run now and often wonder, was I not scared at all? Vampires were more feared than witches where I came from. Yet, I had accepted that I had become one without much difficulty. I did not go through denial, I didn't go through amazement, and I never questioned the reality of it. I knew it wasn't a dream; I'm not that creative. Was the pain really so deep that I didn't even question it? Becoming a vampire was like seeing my pain. Perhaps my subconscious had expected something like this. After all, I was never a hopeful girl. I hadn't ever really pictured myself in heaven, even in the last few minutes of human life I had. Not even with the nuce around my neck had I really come to terms with the idea of death._

_To never have another breath, to never think another thought, to never love or hurt again. Maybe, I knew all along I wouldn't die; in the physical sense at least. Just maybe my subconscious had prepared me for it. I was able to cast aside my shock at becoming a vampire so easily, too easily some might say. I was determined to kill._

_Killing in not the answer; I've heard that said so many times. But if it isn't, then what is? Tell me what the answer is exactly, for someone like me. An accused twin witch who became a vampire after her best friend's betrayal, and at only thirteen. Tell me if you know what the answer is? _

_So I sought to kill. Revenge was all I could think about, and the single most important thing in that moment. I was driving myself mad, hysterically dry sobbing and laughing…and running. First I would torture him, then I would tell him who I was, then I would kill him. Then I would leave. I would become a beautiful and horrible nightmare. I would leave his bloody corpse exactly where I found it, I would write in his blood; "Love, Jane Martin", and then I would leave. Later Abby and Betty would hear of my sign, and shudder in fear. But the need not worry about me killing them. No I would much rather them live, and fear me their entire lives. I love them more than anything, but I hate them too._

_I glanced at Alec for a split second seeing the world through his eyes. Dying, then becoming a vampire, then having his sister become a maniac and run away with her only words being 'follow me'. I knew he was suffering too. _

_Poor Alec; I feel so selfish every time I think of that night. If I could only have let him know how much I truly loved him. He didn't understand my transformation; if only I could have assured him it was for the better. If only that wouldn't have been a lie. My dear brother, caught in the same trap as I, yet I complain. He takes it all in, he grins a bears it. He is so strong, and he is my role model. I wish everyday that he could have been spared. He didn't deserve this fate; he is much too good for this._

_When I started recognizing the landscape I stopped. I started walking towards the town. I would finally get my revenge, and it would be sweet. I was only thirteen, yet the details are as sharp as a knife. I remember my walk towards The Evil One. I remember my laugh and the ecstasy of his blood in my mouth. I remember writing the words for everyone to see. I couldn't leave, but I couldn't stay. I allowed myself one more visit. Full of blood and with all the strength I could manage as a newborn, I walked to Abby and Betty's, where I gladly found them asleep in bed. I woke them gently and smiled my horrible smile. They were too shocked to scream. I must have been lovely to them for Abby came and touched me, but I knew my presence was horrifying. I welcomed the mixed emotions in that room. I looked them both in the eyes and sang to them the song we had often sung together,"look at me darling, aren't I so beautiful. Come to me softly and kiss me farewell." _

_I enchanted them with my song. Then I smiled; they screamed at the blood on my teeth and I left. I vowed then that I would never return to Salem. A vow I do not intend to break. More later._


	12. Cold desolation, weeping despair

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_It is amazing to think now that I could have ever been so innocent. I do not understand how some people can still say the world is a good place, and life is better than death. I struggle with that every day, because I know the truth. The world is completely useless; it is full of pain and heartbreak. Life is not a bowl of cherries but rather a vase of roses. Its beautiful and appealing on the outside, but the deeper into it you get the more the thorns stab you. Cutting you, making you bleed until you are completely dry. Until you have nothing left to give, until your death._

_I am taking a brief break off my story to tell you the condition of my heart whilst I was starting my search for the Volturi. I can describe it in three simple words; cold, desolate, and angry. A sad state to be in and a horrible nightmare to live through. You have no idea what depressed is; no one really knows what depressed is. For I am the definition of depressed, and no one else is me._

_Cold. I could see in my mind the wall of ice slip over my heart, layer after layer. I wondered if it would ever thaw. Well it's been a thousand years, and I'm still waiting. I went from a lovely little innocent human girl, to a beautiful little bitter vampiress. Bitter because of the wrongs that had been done to me, cold because I feared my emotions. I could no handle them. The emotions that came like blizzards and messed with my heart and mind so badly that I simply could not bear it. I couldn't cry, I had no family besides my also grieving brother, and I couldn't handle it. So I shut them out; apathetic I was, and still am for I find it is easier than facing myself. Note that I said easier, not better. No, I do not believe for one second that it is better._

_Desolate I was. Lonely to an extreme; I had Alec. Alec, the grieving brother that could never care about my the enough to replace my family, my friends. Despite of him I still felt utterly alone. In my silent despair I grieved alone, planned alone, and alone my heart became. It secluded itself from everything else, including my own mind. Have you ever had a battle with your heart in mind? I assure you, I am not stupid. Every wrong choice I made I was aware of; I just simply ignored it. I didn't want anybody to tell me what to do, and that included myself. I was going to follow my heart, wrong or not. I was determined to make the pain go away and I doing so worsened the pain. I realize that now. So alone I became in my attempt for happiness, cold and desolate, dry weeping with despair. _

_Anger, perhaps the strongest emotion of all the three major ones. The most visible, at least, if nothing else. I was angry at everything and everybody. Except for Alec, and the rest of my loving, dead, family. I wanted to kill. I wanted others to feel the pain that I had been given. I somehow felt that in others death, I would find life. I began to understand the meaning of powers; I could kill a hundred people easily. I would work out the methods in my head and the numbers soared as I remembered the speed that I had also. Possibly, the worst thing was that I didn't see the people as having lives. I saw them as nothing more than an escape route. A diversion from my pain; a way to keep my mind at bay. So in anger I dwelt, and it became my second home. _

_These are the three demons that possessed my, among others, while I crept around in the night. Lurking, so as not to be discovered by anybody; though I'm sure it would not have mattered. The fire and ice in my chest was too much, and I had given myself over to the dark side. Knowingly, wantingly, I became a monster on the inside as well. _


	13. APOLOGY

**The Truth About Jane: behind the eyes**

_**hey guys im soooooooo sorry about not writing for a while, im on vacation in Maui but i promise to write just as soon as im back after new years. Thanks! **_

**_love,_**

**_EuphoricEpiphany_**


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